You Asked It (part 1)

Here is my first installment of answering your burning questions...

* Do you really sleep in the van?
Of course. What kind of van dweller would I be if I didn’t actually dwell in the van?? I generally spend every night of the week but one or two in the van. Those one or two nights are spent on a charitable friend’s couch.

* Where do you shower?
It depends on the night. If I'm hanging out at a friend's place, I'll usually just shower there. If not, my default shower is always the locker room at my university. It's tricky getting a good shower at the locker room though. You have to have perfect timing for a private shower. I'll have to share those adventures in a future post.

* How many blankets are you using as cushioning/future warmth?
The layers consist of 2 thin mattress pad covers, a memory foam mattress pad, an egg crate mattress pad, a fitted sheet, 2 blankets, a down comforter folded in half (basically now 2 layers). then 3 more blankets & a sheet. I also have a sleeping bag for if it ever gets THAT cold. Right now, I generally use 1-2 blankets, so I have plenty of cushioning.

* How do you charge your phone?
I charge it all day at school, then sometimes for a little bit at work. I also have a car charger for emergency charges.

* Do you think if someone let you park Mo in his garage you could sleep in him all winter? Maybe forever?
I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot this past week. I know I’ve been saying the van dwelling situation was only going to be a 3 month stint, but more than likely it’s going to be until I can save up enough to start paying for an apartment. If that means until December or so, then I’d better start gathering tips on staying warm. I think it can be done with the proper preparations.

* Where is your favorite place to park during the night?
Well, it’s unsafe to tell all my secrets, but I prefer to stay at apartment complexes. It’s a trick to find the perfect spot. Some light, not too much. Some cars, not too populated though.

* How's gus gus?
He’s around. I don’t see him as much, but still a few times a week after school. I even got him to pose for a picture with Mo last week. Check out Wordless Wednesday for the shot!

* Do your students know?
Nooooooo, although I have had a few funny conversations about homeless people & bums with random students. See my post on the homeless threat I pose to my kids.

* What address do you have things mailed to?
I use a friend’s apartment address for now. If I do it long term, I’d think about a PO box.

* When will you give up living in mo?
I haven’t decided that yet. I guess I’ll just do it until I can’t anymore. It’s really not so bad. Definitely not as bad as any of you imagine it. You adapt. Sure, some situations are undesirable & inconvenient, but the money I’m saving is still worth it to be. It’s all about the will power to overcome hardships.

Thanks for sharing a Q&A Moment with Mo...

Just call him Mr. Mo Threatener Lester...

I was reading a post from a fellow blogging non-member of the housed society today and stumbled upon his tips for finding the perfect overnight parking spots. This was one very valid tip that hit home (pun intended):

"Never park near a grade school or a high school. People take child safety very seriously, and rightly or wrongly the homeless are going to be perceived as a threat. "

Wait, did he just tell me I'm a threat at the elementary school I teach at EVERY day?? And that's why I park across the street...

Thanks for sharing my highly offended Moment with Mo...

Wordless Wednesday...an EPIC one.

This is what I call a family portrait!

This picture took a lot of work, and yes, this IS my favorite squirrel Gus Gus. Don't ask how I got the guy to pose so perfectly, but just call me St. Not Francine...

Guest Post!

As I previously mentioned, Mo & I entertained our first "house"guest this past weekend. Groove came to visit & see the good, the bad, & the ugly of being homeless. In the words of my best fraaaaaannnn...

Hello all you loyal Mo readers! As Shush has mentioned before, I had the awesome opportunity to become a van dweller for a weekend. I learned a lot about the routine Shush has going for herself and the little tweaks you must make in order to successfully live in a van. Within hours of arriving, I learned first hand the importance of airing out your shoes & placing a dryer sheet inside of them to prevent the home from being a smelly mess. Onward to my weekend's events...

I wasn't able to leave until after work Friday so I got up Shush's campus at 11. Unfortunately, when you live in a van, there isn't much to do to entertain yourself. Fortunately for us, we've been given the gift of gab and were able to enjoy the simplicity of talking to one another and doing some general catching up. We wandered campus for a while and settled on this nice little deck by a pond. As we were talking we noticed this helicopter doing some weird things. It was flying around with its spotlight on like it was searching for something/someone, but it was far too high in the air and moving too fast to actually be looking for something. We sat there for a good 20 minutes trying to figure out what he was doing. At one point, I noticed him flying straight towards us. As he was flying over us his spotlight stopped on us and I just got the urge to yell 'ooh that's us!!" and wave. Shush joined me in our giggling waving antics until the weirdest thing happened...he shut the spotlight off!!!! Whatttttt??? It was so weird 7 we were absolutely shocked that we just managed to flag down a helicopter.


After all that excitement, we decided to go to bed and realized the bathrooms were locked and we couldn't brush our teeth. So we did what any other resourceful homeless person would do. We brushed out teeth in the automatic sprinkler system. "Van girl's brushing her teeth in the sprinkler!!!"




















Saturday started off with me sneaking into the sports center to get a shower. Epitome of homelessness. Shush snuck me in a side door and I had to run behind the front counter while the attendant was distracted. But this was no quick "let's run from the corner across the hall" kind of sneaking. No. I had to haul my ass around an indoor running track to the very opposite side. It was a little challenging and I almost screwed things up but alas, I succeeded in my first attempt at homeless showering. After our ghetto showering procedures we went to the local laundromat and washed a number of loads of laundry. To entertain ourselves, we looked at car magazines and all the cars I'll never be able to afford and Shush taught me how to make oragami paper cranes. Apparently, her 5th grade class had some issues learning the steps but being the 21 year old I am, I can proudly say "Yes, Jeff foxworthy, I am smarter than a 5th grader."


We made our way down the road to visit C.E.O. at his new apartment. He thought we'd be bothered because his furniture han't arrived yet. Silly C.E.O. Being the hobos we were, we thought annemities like running water, electricity, and closet space made up for it. We ended our fabulous Saturday by moving downtown for the reminder of my van dwelling weekend. We went to the canal to walk around and have a picnic dinner. I surprised Shush with a cooler filled with fruit, cold drinks, meat, and cheese so we utilized some aquired bread and had ourselves a feast. Shush doesn't get cold drinks or other perishables often so I think she was happy I brought things. I can be responsible. Sometimes. And I can aquire things from my job that make both of us happy.


After our feast, we reverted back to our hobo ways and passed out on our blanket under the tree for awhile. When we woke up, we wandered the streets of downtown and even managed to stumble upon some kind of mexican fiesta in the streets. Finally, we found a nice little darkened area downtown to park and called it a night.

Overall, I had an awesome time van dwelling with Shush. It definitely is an experience not having a permenant residence but that's also part of the fun. This whole experience in Mo will definitel be laughed about in the future.

Thanks for sharing MY moment with Mo...

Top Ten Homeless Moments Thus Far

Top Ten...

Homeless Moments Thus Far:

10. Napping under a tree along the canal.

9. Showering in the locker room on such a regular basis that the fitness center attendants know me by name & worry about me when I don't show for a few nights.

8. Making origami cranes at the laundry mat to pass the time while waiting for my laundry.

7. Using the bathroom at a Speedway gas station to brush my teeth & get ready for bed one night Groove & I got back to Indy late.

6. “Owning” a pet squirrel (See posts related to Gus Gus)

5. Receiving the camp staff list in which my address in listed a “van down by the river.”

4. Blow drying my hair by A) hanging my head out the van window like a dog while driving or B) using the hand dryer in the bathroom. What? I'm not above it.

3. Getting kicked out of the park by the cops with all the other hobos at dark.

2. Brushing my teeth in an automatic sprinkler. It worked like a charm!

1. The day I gave my own mother a grand tour of Mo after which she gave me her blessing to be homeless and live in their van.

Thanks for sharing a few homeless Moments with Mo...

The routine

Yesterday marked Mo & I's 6 week vanniversary. Groove was here to celebrate all weekend. Check back for his guest post later tonight! It was quite the weekend so it should be pretty marvelous.

I have a little time to spare between when he left for work and when I'm heading to a friend's, so I figured I'd update. I never did get around to explaining my routine. This routine has slowly morphed over time into a spectacular display of refined rhythm & organization. To the untrained van dweller's eyes, it may not seem like much, but ask Groove. He now knows what goes into the routine...

6:45 (sometimes earlier depending on the day)
Wake up, fix the blankets, & take down the "curtains."
Climb up front & drive to campus
Grab the morning bag & head to the student center
7:00-7:40
Change clothes, brush teeth, fix hair, etc. to get ready for school
7:45-4:30
Student teaching
5:00-9:30
Work at the coffee shop
9:30-10:00
Shower & brush teeth
Hang towels to dry
Clean up van
Pick out clothes for the next day, Wrinkle Release them, & hang them on the line next to the morning bag
10:00-12:00
Finish grading & planning that didn't get done throughout the day
Find a spot to park & pass out.

I work hard for the money...

If you didn't know, I'm a working girl now.

It's keeps me busy. REALLY busy. I get up at 7a or so, go to school from 8a-4:30p, work 5-9:30p, shower, grade/plan/prepare, and then find a spot to park Mo & pass out to get up & do it all again. You can see why my already awful blogging skills have been made even worse. I'll keep trying. Have no fear. I have not forgotten about MWM & all its faithful readers. I have my first weekend house guest coming tonight. I'm sure between Groove & I, we'll be inspired to write a blog post or two.

ps...I'm lovin' all the questions. You Asked It post to come soon!

Mr. Mo Lester fan club challenge...

Mo & I have a challenge for you. I get questions about van dwelling on a daily basis. These are from friends, family, coworkers, strangers, whoever. I'd like to answer some of these questions for you on the blog. I'll do a "You Asked It" post filled with a Q&A session if I get a good response. So...

Ask me anything about van dwelling.

Who, what, when, where, why, how...whatever you'd like. It'd be easiest if you just commented right here on the blog. You don't need to be an offical member & I don't even need to know who's asking. I've enabled annonymous comments, so comment away. I know some of you who are reading barely know me or don't even know me at all. That's awesome & it would make me so incredibly happy if I knew I was actually entertaining people other than Groove & myself with this blog! Don't be ashamed that you're stalking Mo & I. I'm the one living IN A VAN. I should be the only ashamed one here. I don't judge. I know quite a few people follow my blog (even if they're not official followers), but it's not shwoing on the actual blog & it's kind of lame. Show your Team Mo pride show us some love!

If you're still totally afraid of the blogging world or are too chicken to comment on MWM, hit me up wth your questions another way. You know how to get at me...phone, text, email, facebook, large creep van in the nearest parking lot, etc.

Thanks in advance for sharing a personal Moment with Mo...

Mo's speedy recovery

Mo is feeling much better thank you. I know I didn't update right away, but things have been a little hazy in my life the past few weeks. Thanks for being loyal readers even though I'm unpredictable in my ramblings & rantings. And in the shuffle of last weekend's depressing family time, I forgot to even mention that Mo & I celebrated our one month anniversary of van dwelling together. By now I'm well into week 6. Wow, I'm doing it. People honestly didn't believe me, and I'll admit that I doubted this would actually work, but here I am approaching 6 weeks of 'successful' life inside a van. As ridiculous & not-favorable the situation is, I am pretty damn impressed if I say so myself.

Anyways, I dropped Mo off at the repair shop bright & early on Friday morning to get checked out. I even managed to get a ride to school from the sweet little old man at the car place. As I mentioned before, Mo was having issues upon starting. I had taken him to Walmart to test the battery because that's what my gut told me, but I was told my battery was fine & that the problem must be my starter. My loyal car repair shop found otherwise. Mo's ailment was a nearly dead battery. His starter was fine. Those scoundrel's at Walmart. I doubt that their battery checker machine thing was wrong. I'm beginning to wonder whether they just took one look at Mo & didn't want to give him a chance. Bastards. Lesson to be learned here friends...Don't judge van by whether or not it has a person living inside! Luckily they caught it in time & Mo has a brand new spankin' battery under the hood. Needless to say, my home is feeling much better. My ego took a bit of a beating having to face the men who worked on Mo, knowing damn well they had to have seen the back with my house in it. Oh well. They didn't say anything. Even if they had, I've come to accept the awkwardness that comes along with van dwelling in the real world.

Here is a (rather risky) snapshot of Mo, getting his checkup. Good thing for second opinions...

Thanks for sharing a Moment with Mo...

Does Mo have the SWINE?!?!

I regret to inform that Mo is sick. Don't fret yet! I'm fully confident that it's a curable ailment & that my home companion can pull through. Ever since I got back to town yesterday, he's been a bit sluggish when I start him. More like a LOT sluggish. He gave me scare, but I got him in for a quick check up at what is comparable to an immediate care place for humans. My first thought was that his battery was failing him in old age, but apparently his battery is fairly new & in good condition. His starter, on the other hand, may have seen better days. Of course, this is all from the mouths of the "immediate care" place (wal-mart auto center), so we'll see. He has an appointment with his general practioner (an auto repair shop) tomorrow morning. I'm nervous about this appointment for a few reasons:

1) Mo's sick. I want him to be better quickly & cheaply.
2.) This is my home we're talkign about...I don't know what the hell I'll do for 6 weeks if I'm really homeless!
3.) I have to drop him off at 7:30am. The car repair man is a sweet old man who's worked on two previous cars of mine in town & offered to drive me the half mile to school. That's cool 7 all, but the ride back after school is still an obstacle. I'll be able to get a ride, I'm sure, but I don't like depending on other people. I get out of school at 4 and have to be dressed & at work by 5. It'll be cutting it close.
4.) How do I explain the bed, closet, and all my belongings to the car guys?? That's a tad bit awkward, but awkwardness comes with the territory.

So, anyway, I'll keep you posted on his condition. Say a quick prayer, cross your fingers, send good vibes, whatever it is you do, send it Mo's way. This needs to be painless on him AND my wallet.

Thanks for sharing an ailing Moment with Mo...

Wordless Wednesdays...a day late & quite a few dollars short.

Thanks for sharing a captured Moment with Mo...

Top Ten Tuesdays...(late comer)

Top Ten Houseguests I'd Love to Have:

(in no particular order)

1. Chris Farley: Umm, he’s the man who coined the phrase that EVERY person says to me within 3 seconds of me telling them where I live. It’s still funny every time, but hilarity meter would be off the charts if it were to come from the mouth of the man who played Matt Foley, the motivational speaker.

2. The Gosselin children: How much fun would the kids have climbing through my house, which is basically a glorified fort for kids?? And, they could use the break from their nut job parents anyway. I won’t exploit you or embarrass your family. It may be a little crowded, but we’ll make do.

3. Mr. Bean: No reason behind this. Mr. Bean has and always will make me giggle. He’d be a fun goofball to have around. We get into all kinds of shenanigans together.

4. Dispatch or some equally amazing band: I feel like Dispatch may actually enjoy the experience. Sure, I don’t know them, but their music is kind of Mo’s elevator music. It’s always playing. Whether through the speakers on my iPod or Pandora on my phone, Dispatch is always keeping the tunes fresh. My new favorite band, Matt & Kim, could also be potentially crazy fun houseguests.

5. My cousin Eric/Mailman: I think he would keel over from laughing if he got to LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER for a night. We’d have a good time. We’d invent a new type of Tour de Braids!

6. Bear Grylls or Les Stroud: Hello?? For those of you who live under rocks, Bear is the guy from Man vs. Wild and Les is from Survivorman. Although I will be the first to admit that they are way too hardcore for me, I’m sure they’d have a few genius tips to pass on to someone living on limited supplies & meager rations.

7. Nina: Enough said ;)

8. Gus Gus: Oh, my squirrel pet! One day, I will touch him. I still see him a few times a week, but I haven’t spent much quality time trying to get close to him. I don’t necessarily want him to ever be in my homevan, but it would be a fun story to tell.

9. David Beckham: Mmm…Becks can stay the night whenever he wants. Yes please.

10. Groove: Everything’s more fun with my other half. We’ve had one van slumber party so far, but the circumstances were lame & we didn’t get to enjoy it to its full potential. He’s only allowed as a houseguest for the time being. He has too much shit to be a ‘roommate’ in a home with so few square feet. We’re working on it…

Thanks for sharing an overdue Moment with Mo...

I'm bacccccckkkkkkk

I apologize for the delay in posts. I have quite a few drafts started and had every intention of continuing with Wordless Wednesdays & Top Ten Tuesdays, but it's been a rough week. Not to be a debbie downer, but my Grandma passed away last week. I'm not going to get all sappy, but I do feel the need to mention her. I've always felt she is partially responsible for this blog. She's like a stock holder in my van dwelling situation. No, she didn't force me to live in the van. No, she didn't necessarily support the idea either. But she is one of the funniest people I know and without her wittiness that she passed on to my dad who passed it on to my siblings & I, I don't think I'd have the sense of humor to be able to pull this off. Not just writing the blog. I'm talking about the actual act of living in the van. Van dwelling takes someone with a major sense of humor. I mean, I make it sound all fun and games, and sometimes it legitimately is, but other times, it succcccckkkkkkkks. So Homie G...here's your Moments with Mo shout out: I love you, I miss you, and mannny morrrrrre...without a shirrrrrrttt!!

I will attempt to catch up on blog posts over the next few days. I have some stories to tell...

Wordless Wednesdays...

...(except HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAIRE!!)

Top Ten Tuesdays

Ok, so in an effort to make myself update more often for my ever increasing groupies, I've added the Top Ten Tuesdays to go along with the popular Wordless Wednesdays. Each Tuesday (hopefully), I'll post a Top Ten list having to do with van dwelling. I only have a handful of ideas, so if you have any requests, you know I'm down. Enough of my babbling though, onward to the main event!

Top Ten...

reasons to live in a van.

10. You find out how many people love you & are generous with their driveways, showers, outlets, & company.

9. Housekeeping is minimal. I draw the shades, Downy Wrinkle Release, 'pick up.' That's about the extent of it.

8. The people watching available & the characters you meet are one of a kind (ooh, maybe a top ten interesting characters I’ve met so far post is in order soon??).

7. You don’t have to worry about friends or family “dropping by” unexpectedly.

6. To piss Kelly Silich (my otha’ motha’) off. You know it's driving her nuts.

5. Dishes? What are those? Ohhhh, you mean those plastic utensils I steal from several unnamed fast food chains?? Why in the world would I have to wash those?!?!

4. No cable, water, electric, or internet bills to fuss over.

3. I never have to worry about forgetting something when I leave the house. EVERYTHING is always with me.

2. My backyard & views are beautiful & ever changing. As I like to say, “The world is my living room now.” I mean, I get to camp out every night. How many people do that for 3 months straight?? And lately, with this cool, crisp weather we’ve been having, my nights are wonderful, beautiful, & refreshing. I’ve gotten some of the best nights of sleep of my life in that van. Feel free to give me a V8-head-knock when my teeth are chattering all night in October.

1. The $$$ I’m saving by not paying RENT!!